Being Black in Corporate America: 12 Things You Must Know To Survive and Just Maybe Thrive

If you're a black man in Corporate America, tough for you -- 80% of Caucasians will see the skin color black the moment you walk through the door, and not in a good way. Shortly after that, you'll start to face the enduring pinch and then subsequent trauma of being on the wrong side of human stereotyping. Been there. Known that. And in case you're wondering where I gleaned the 80% number from, do you really need a reference? For starters, check out this Washington Post article.

It's not unlike outside Corporate America where the same thing happens -- when the policeman cruises suspiciously by, when the taxi driver refuses to stop to give you a ride, when the shopkeeper trails after you as you weave the aisles of the corner store. People navigate the world around them with their stereotypes of others. And, of course, nobody leaves that stereotype at home just because they're heading off to the corporate big house.

You, my brother, with all your smarts and in your fancy suit, will still be perceived as the token. They'll think you're sub-par. They'll think you're unreliable. They'll think you're belligerent. They'll think you're lazy. They'll think you don't belong there. That's what they'll think of you -- the vast majority of them. In such an environment, the odds, my friend, are very much against you.

Don't get me wrong -- the unfair perceptions of you aren't innate. Nobody is born a nefarious racist. In fact, these days bias isn't even in the conscious fore of the minds of the people you'll be dealing with. We've moved beyond that for the most part. It's 2010. The biases you will face will be implicit. They will constitute perceptions resting in the recesses of often innocent contemplations fed by decades of persistent local evening news coverage of scary black men in handcuffs, dinner table chatter of terrifying housing projects with hapless teenage moms with their crack babies in tow, and pointless National Geographic narratives of hard-to-find black tribes running around lush forests in animal skin.

Yes, you'll deal with a lot of ignorant people -- fed chockfull with ignorance by the media, some of them even enjoying its bliss. To most, you will be "the other." And you will be perceived as such, regardless of what your toothless HR department says about inclusiveness. Hey, everyone knows -- the ethnically homogeneous folks at the top of the ladder only pay lip service to your inclusiveness problem. It's nice to throw a few crumbs to the untouchables at the very bottom once in a while to keep them from rocking the ladder. It's their smart thing to do.

But you know this already, don't you? So, I'll quit with my rambling and get to the point of this posting. You'd rather own your own business because you don't want to suck it up to the man all day, everyday, for the rest of your life. But most businesses fail and you know that too, so you won't buy into the ridiculous Horatio Alger stories on the cover of Black Enterprise. You're not going to be the next P. Diddy anymore than you're going to win the MegaMillions lottery. You don't have the money to start a serious business even if you have what you think is a great idea. You're smart. You understand there's a lot to be said about holding onto a job for a little while to learn a thing or two in the real world and develop a strong safety net just in case your escape plan from "the man" doesn't quite work out as you had planned -- which in all likelihood, it won't. So, to ease your pain as you endure your corporate years, here are twelve things you must know to survive being black in corporate America. If you're lucky, you may even thrive.

1. Deference does not pay. Hold your head up high and act like you own the place. Being deferential does not increase your likability in Corporate America. It just feeds the perception that you lack the knowledge and stomach for the job. If you have an opinion or a position, express yourself boldly. This means don't keep quiet at meetings. Of course, you will get challenged -- not once or twice -- you'll get challenged persistently. Even after you've proven your chops over and over again, you'll still get challenged. What else did you expect? The stereotype doesn't work in your favor, brother. People think you don't know jack squat. So, when you get challenged, acknowledge the alternative viewpoint but soundly defend your position. Do not back down until the point you're making is acknowledged as a valid opinion. In other words, show some chutzpah!

2. Be direct without being impolite. But if you have only two choices -- impoliteness or directness -- choose directness. If you talk in circles, people will walk all over you and piss on your post-employment grave. Remember, you are terminally employed anyway, and being spineless won't make it less so.

3. You are the bogeyman. Live with it. If things go wrong, you'll be the first to be blamed. You're an easy target because people will expect failure from you. So the blame will stick, unless you cover your tracks always. Save every email. Don't let anyone get away with leaving you with an ambiguous instruction or request. Seek clarification. Provide clarification. Save the email.

4. The corporate workplace is a game of musical chairs not a rocket science project. If you're still analyzing a problem when the music stops, you're the one to blame. Being the black bogeyman that you are, the blame will stick hard and fast. What does this mean? It means, your job is not to solve problems, it's to move them along toward a solution via interaction. If the problem finds you with a solution, great! If it doesn't, move it along. In practice, this means if you get a question via email, respond as best as you can, then ask a follow-up question. If you don't have a complete answer, respond with the portion of the answer you have and include a follow-up question related to the research you need to do to provide the full answer. To avoid forgetting to respond to emails, click on the reply button and minimize the email. Never leave at the end of the day without sending these pending emails. In the corporate world, when the music stops, you don't want to be caught standing with your pants down pissing into the wind, analyzing the curvature of the arch of your piss as it splashes into your face.

5. Never use the term racism in the workplace unless you have a legal caseload of unambiguous evidence to prove it. Otherwise, you become the paranoid schizophrenic at work. And you don't want to be Mr. Paranoid, do you? If you tell someone they're being racist, it does nothing for you or against them. Unless you have email evidence of a racial epithet -- which no one is dumb enough to leave these days -- you shouldn't call anyone racist. It's amateurish to do so without overwhelming evidence. Still, you should never hesitate to call people out if you think you are being treated unfairly.

6. For the bogeyman, rumors become truth if they aren't aggressively nipped at the bud. If you have a hunch someone at work is talking behind your back and spreading falsities about you, you're probably right. Tell the coworker to stop the backbiting and simultaneously talk to your manager and HR about your concerns. Then systematically retaliate with a campaign of your own. Think of it like the Big Brother reality TV show where someone's going to end up being voted out of the house at the end of episode -- except in this case you're the bogeyman by virtue of the color of your skin. So you're going to have to work overtime, kid.

7. Keep all evidence of your managers' and coworkers' workplace transgressions: lateness, excessive sick days, delayed email responses, etc. It will come in handy someday if they ever try to take the proverbial spec out of your eye, when they've got a huge log in theirs. Again, you're the bogeyman. If you sleep at all, sleep with one eye open.

8. A good sense of humor is a gift from God. If you have it, great for you. Seeing the humor in your calamity will help you maintain the right tone while applying these rules outlined in this posting. You want to avoid becoming the Angry Black Guy. You definitely don't want to have the tone I've taken in this article -- limited to the singular purpose of getting your attention. But while you should use humor to prevent you from getting a brain aneurysm, you should never use it become some sort of a workplace class clown or King's joker. Being a clown may endear you to some in an Uncle Tom sort of way, but you won't break any glass ceilings. So quit it. You're not a bozo. Stop acting like one. Fall on your own sword before you become a caricature of blackness. If it's not funny, don't laugh. Your nervous laughter won't get you anywhere.

9. Never be late, even if it means cutting people off to leave a prior meeting. Here's a trick -- set your PDA to buzz at the top and bottom of every hour if you have to.

10. Be very honest about what you don't know. Do not pretend. Don't try to wing it. It won't work. Trust me, business moves so fast, nobody really knows either. So if someone's talking fast and in meaningless circles trying to impress themselves about the little they know, slow them down. Some people don't know how to communicate. They're more concerned about hearing themselves pontificate than they are about actually communicating. Take charge of the communication and move it along at your preferred pace. You just got there for crying out loud, a lot of the institutional acronyms and knowledge being spewed will be new to you. They don't care. And you shouldn't care either about cutting them off if you have to. Here's how you address the situation. With a smile, you say: "Listen, slow down, you're going too fast. I know I'm a smart guy but I'm going to have to write some of this down and I may have some important clarifying questions." It's better to slow things down, than pretend you heard and understood everything, and dart off in some pointless direction.

11. Stay ahead of the curve -- not with it, ahead of it. I know you think you're some sort of hotshot now because you've got a corporate gig and all the single ladies are burning up your cellphone, but this is not the time to party. You're on borrowed time. You don't have the luck of being born of the frat boy variety who will stay hired and maybe even rise with persistent mediocrity thrown at the face of his bosses. Unfortunately for you, on your first two years at your new job, you have to spend about an extra hour or two each day toiling overtime to boost your professional and institutional knowledge to a well-above-average level. And that is what you'll have to do, just to be considered average at work. Toil even more to a level of perfection, and you may be considered an above-average performer. That's your lot in corporate life. Still, don't burn yourself out. You're not doing it for "the man." You're doing it for yourself. Because one day, you'll take that knowledge, and all that discretionary (non-retirement) pay you saved while you stuck it out, and start your own thing. And that thing may succeed. But, for now, hang in there in the corporate trenches for at least 5 years before venturing out on your own.

12. You are unlikely to be promoted over lesser performing non-blacks unless a token is needed at the next prong of the ladder. Yes, that sucks. But look on the bright side -- there are always other corporations looking for highly-qualified tokens. So, do your time. Spend the 3 to 5 years in your role and imbibe on all the institutional and professional knowledge that comes your way. Then when you're plump and ripe with knowledge, seek out and grab the next prong in the corporate ladder elsewhere if it is not being offered to you at your current place of work. There's always going to be some place else which will value you more than your current place of work.

For the young guns reading this posting, you think you know everything already and you'll think you're invincible. You'll read this, ignore these pronouncements and run off and do your own thing. Maybe even quit your corporate gig prematurely thinking you're going to make it big as an entrepreneur. Do me a favor -- don't do that. Hang in there and do your time. Play in the game and play it right. For the next few years, read this at the start of each week like you're reading scripture, even if it just gets you to think actively about how you're going to handle the little kids at work.

Finally, do me another favor: send this link to all others like you. In spite of a world of implicit biases and xenophobic perceptions, we must thrive. We must all thrive.